


Complimentary Insults

by Miss_Deyora_Ash



Category: Led Zeppelin
Genre: Bad Puns, Boys Kissing, Hand Jobs, M/M, Making Out, Oral Sex, Smut, Snark, fluff at the end?, maybe? - Freeform, okay only one bad pun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:48:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27947051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miss_Deyora_Ash/pseuds/Miss_Deyora_Ash
Summary: “Do you think you can just run that pretty mouth of yours whenever and wherever you want?” Jimmy said with a haunting smirk, and as much as Robert may have wanted to make a smart remark back he was a bit busy trying to keep his blood circulating normally.On the start of relationships and Jimmy speaking his mind only when angry or annoyed.
Relationships: Jimmy Page/Robert Plant
Comments: 6
Kudos: 37





	Complimentary Insults

**Author's Note:**

> Week two on schedule, so far so good. Not really a prompt here, but rather a list of putdowns I found. I determined that these putdowns were more like flirtations.
> 
> Oh right this goes here: Disclaimer, I don't own the people these characters are based on. I do own my personal interpretation of the characters even if Jimmy would sue me over it.

It had started quite innocently, Robert reflected.

Okay scratch that, it had started confusing and plenty dirty already. To be more precise, it had started with Jimmy’s habit of yelling at people, which was really quite a rude habit now that he thought about it. Mostly endearing however, because as much as Jimmy might _like_ being a scary control freak, in reality he looked like a teenager with issues.

Now it wasn’t Jimmy being insulting that was baffling. That was after all to be expected, it being a habit and all. Rather it was the _manner_ in which Jimmy was being insulting. Robert had been entirely too distracted by the problem it caused to determine whether this was a manner specific to him or whether Jimmy talked to everyone like that.

The first time Robert noticed anything amiss had been a few weeks ago. He had done something wrong (he still wasn’t clear on what exactly, but it was enough to cause Jimmy to fly into a minor fit of rage to it must be something) and an argument ensued. He didn’t remember a word of what he had said, but he did remember Jimmy getting all up in his face and spitting out, “You know what Robert? Bite me,” before stalking away. He definitely remembered how his jeans had suddenly gotten even tighter and how he’d very much have liked to bite Page at that moment. Or lick. Or-

Yes. That was the problem. Which obviously had not started innocently. At first he’d thought it was a fluke – after show adrenaline mixed with too many Quaaludes, he just got confused, there was nothing going on.

Over these past months he was forced to accept it was not a fluke. It was too- constant. Too much always-there-in-the-background. To the point where he found himself staring at Jimmy on stage, especially near the end of the show when he was all drenched in sweat and- Ugh. He’s doing it again.

“Could you please shut up, I have a headache and your shouting isn’t helping,” Robert had said at some point, nursing a hangover while Jimmy was yelling at someone else altogether.

“Make me,” had been the extremely unhelpful reply. Honestly, at that point Robert had accepted his body’s reactions and would have been very willing to shut Jimmy up in whatever way required, except it felt like some dwarf was forging swords on the inside of his skull.

Or that time Robert had gotten sick of Jimmy’s complaining about nothing and told him so. The reply of “oh well, fuck me then,” wasn’t exactly helpful. He assumed that “gladly” wasn’t the reply Jimmy was looking for.

Throughout that period Robert had thought he was reading something in these situations that wasn’t there. That it was all him – he’d developed a completely inappropriate crush on his band leader and the consequence was getting hard anytime Jimmy was annoyed with him. That was fine, he could deal with that. Jimmy couldn’t be doing it on purpose after all.

Well. Maybe he was. Robert wasn’t _certain_ , but he _thought_ that there were some indications that was the case. Mostly when Jimmy’s insults turned strangely complimentary.

“At least you have a pretty face to compensate for you lack of a brain,” had been the exasperated reply to something he said that was apparently stupid. “If you start acting any more like a girl I’ll want to fuck you instead of our groupies,” was another one. Probably said in jest, but it had caused the same vaguely elated reaction in him. Even the pitying “at least you’re sweet” from last week counted in some way, considering Robert had certainly never called another man sweet but did it all the time to girls. (And he had felt awfully happy the rest of the evening.)

That is to say, maybe Jimmy _was_ flirting with him, in some strange Jimmy Page way. Or he was accidentally revealing unconscious thoughts while being a prick. The latter perhaps more likely, especially since at this point he was being entirely unsubtle when sloshed.

Like that time he’d accidentally said something that was supposed to be a secret, and instead of going into dramatics over it Jimmy had cornered him sometime after when they were alone and effectively crowded him into a wall. Still looking like a teenager with issues, but certainly an intimidating one. He had cocked his head and reached out a hand to play with a stray curl on the side of Robert’s face, twisting it around his fingers almost gently. “Do you think you can just run that pretty mouth of yours whenever and wherever you want?” he had said with a haunting smirk, and as much as Robert may have wanted to make a smart remark back he was a bit busy trying to keep his blood circulating normally.

“Pagey-“ he had managed to choke out, half a protest and half a please-please-please do _something_.

“Shush. I’m serious. Maybe I should find a way to shut you up?” Robert couldn’t help it, his eyes flitted down to Jimmy’s lips. And Jimmy pulled away. He seemed somewhat shocked by his own actions, and refused to meet Robert’s eyes before he walked away. Par de course they did not talk about it again.

The latest incident had confirmed it in Robert’s mind. They had been sitting in the bus going somewhere (Robert wasn’t even sure where), and it had been much too warm. Jimmy was sulking in a corner, probably mad about what the heat was doing to his hair. Robert himself felt frizzy and sticky and sweaty and not in the good way. He was too hot to read so he’d instead been watching the scenery.

It went something like this: Endless flat grassland – single tree – endless flat grassland. He may not know where they were going but it was clearly the Midwest. He distracted himself for a while by imagining he was a lonesome cowboy travelling over the prairie, but even that became boring.

“Why is it so hot,” he had whined. Out loud, his first mistake. Bonzo had of course replied, and soon the two of them were casually complaining about the heat, annoying everyone else.

It was maybe fifteen minutes until Jimmy had had enough. “Bonzo, kindly stop talking. Robert, if you complain that it’s hot one more time I will give you a reason to sweat.”

There! Vindication! Jimmy didn’t just flirt with everyone accidentally while angry or annoyed, he did it to Robert specifically. Obviously he was attracted to him! It was only natural, Robert was really hot. Both literally and figuratively.

Bonzo had stared incredulously for a hilarious moment, until Robert shrugged at him as if it was nothing. Then he’d visibly shaken whatever revelation he’d had off and casually moved to the front of the bus to annoy Jonesy. Robert used the time to gaze dreamily at Jimmy, who was really looking quite bad due to the heat, but quite adorable as well. He did wish that his guitarist knew of another way to express affection though. He’d just have to teach him when the next opportunity came around.

Now he was sitting in Jimmy’s hotel room after a show purposefully annoying him as much as possible. His presence alone was probably already grating, considering Jimmy seemed quite stressed out and was likely wishing for a girl. That was unacceptable of course, so Robert had planted (ha) himself on the bed and was reading Tolkien. Well, studying Jimmy under the guise of reading Tolkien. And just to maximize his annoyingness he was biting his lip as he did so, which he knew Jimmy hated. You’ll get chapped lips, you’ll end up chewing through your lip and unable to enunciate properly, blah blah blah.

Sure enough it didn’t take long for Jimmy to mention it – in a disappointingly innocent statement. “Could you stop doing that?”

Robert chirped an apology and did not stop doing it, instead forcing himself to actually concentrate on the book. This would only work if Jimmy didn’t realize he was manipulating him. If he figured that out all hell would break loose, possibly literally.

Three pages. Then he felt a weight join him on the bed, sit across his legs, and yank the book down. It was a testament to the strangeness of these past months that having a mad Jimmy Page in his lap seemed like a good thing.

“If you bite your lip one more time, I’m going to do it for you,” the older man hissed out, still seemingly unaware of how obvious he was being. And for once Robert managed to keep a clear head.

Slowly, and very deliberately, he bit down on his bottom lip again. He tried putting as much implied innuendo into the gesture as possible, channelling all the girls who had turned him on with the exact same gesture. Jimmy went all glassy, freezing up and looking for all the world like he was about to bolt, so Robert grabbed his waist to prevent that. Placed the book out of the way pre-emptively. “Well? Are you going to follow up on your threat?” he said, forcing himself to sound as casual as possible.

Jimmy’s eyes darkened, and that was all the warning Robert got before he found himself pinned against the bed by his dark-haired friend, engaged in a furious kiss that definitely involved some biting.

“Robert?” he demanded while kissing and sucking his way down his neck.

“I’m a bit busy Pagey, ask me later,” Robert said, shoving his hands up under Jimmy’s shirt and pulling it off of him.

“I’m going to make you come hard,” Jimmy informed him before dragging his teeth over one of Robert’s nipples. Robert groaned out some sort of sound that meant yes please and now.

Then all there was was Jimmy's lips and tongue and teeth on his chest and neck and his cool hand undoing Robert's jeans. Long fingers wrapped around his cock. And he wanted this, needed this to be a mutual thing, not just happening to him, so he pulled Jimmy up to sit in his lap properly, undid his fly with shaking hands. Jimmy caught on and sat back to take off the rest of his clothes, so Robert took the chance to take off his own jeans and blouse, and then they crashed back together.

He clutched at Jimmy's back, at his shoulders, at his hair. Jimmy kept batting his hands away when he reaches lower so it would have to do. He smelled like cigarettes and sandalwood and Robert never wanted to let him go, wanted to do this forever. Jimmy seemed determined for it to end though, doing all the right things somehow, and Robert couldn't even be mad because Jimmy was right, he was going to make him come hard. He cried out, muffled against the juncture of Jimmy's throat and shoulder. 

He collapsed back on the bed after that, feeling typical post-sex sleepiness, but he needed to do something else first. Needed this to go both ways so that Jimmy knows. So he pulled the skinny man down next to him, nuzzled at his pale throat a bit. Jimmy seemed startled now, all big green eyes like he didn't think it would be like this. So Robert placed a knee between his legs, kissed him deep, and then moved down. Traced a finger over his hipbone. He thought he'd just give him a handjob but he sort of wanted to suck him, and why not?

So he did. Wrapped a hand around his erection and bend down to lick the tip. Looked back up to see Jimmy holding himself up on his elbows, watching wide-eyed. "Robert, oh god, are you going to?" he whispered, and Robert wasn't sure why this was such a big deal since it's not like Jimmy hadn't been sucked off before. Just not by him.

It was clumsy, and messy, and Robert was pretty sure some of his drool ended up in his hair, but Jimmy was gasping and crying out his name and tangling his fingers in his hair. It was fucking hot, if he was honest. Jimmy tasted salty and weird but not bad, and he still smelled like sandalwood, and Robert very much wanted to do this again at some point. It didn't seem like a long time until Jimmy tugged his hair as if to pull him away, but Robert wanted to do this for real. First time giving a blowjob, might as well make it memorable.

When Jimmy came he cried out his name again, and flooded his mouth with cum. Robert tried to swallow it but most ended up on his chin anyway. It wasn't exactly great, but the way Jimmy groaned when he looked at him was.

Then it was silent, neither of them knowing what to say. Robert wiped his face with the back of his hand but still felt pretty gross. "I'm, er, going to go clean up." No reply came, so he just hurried to the bathroom and washed up best he could.

When he came back Jimmy was still lying there, but he seemed slightly less dazed. When Robert lay down next to him he reached out and sort of petted Robert’s hair. “Are you gonna run away now?” Robert asked eventually.

Jimmy stopped running his fingers over Robert’s head and for a moment it felt like his heart stopped, but then the guitarist tugged him closer, curling into him with his whole body. “Course not. It’s my room,” he snorted, but then he went quiet and still. “This time I couldn’t find a way to misinterpret it, y’know?”

Robert did know. He pressed a kiss to Jimmy’s temple. “You’ll let me stay tonight then?”

“Stay whenever you want.”

**Author's Note:**

> Since today I got my general feeling of I-want-to-lick-Robert's-chest back I decided I could also write smut. I'm not sure how I feel about it but I don't hate it. Otherwise you may enjoy the post-sex mushiness.


End file.
